As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said. . .I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
'I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said. . .I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
'I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....That, my friend, is Globalization.
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....That, my friend, is Globalization.
Raising Bread
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short
skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store,
glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the
counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location
of the raisin bread
- on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd
like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young
man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she
comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is
having company for dinner.As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread,
one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking
quickly, he orders a loaf of
raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up
the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male
customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to
watch the young woman climb up and down the ladder. After many trips,
she is tired, irritated, but thinking she is really going to have to try
the raisin bread herself.
Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for
another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below.
She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up
at her who hasn't yet placed an order. Thinking to save herself another
trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours
raisin, too?"
"No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short
skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store,
glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the
counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location
of the raisin bread
- on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd
like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young
man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she
comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is
having company for dinner.As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread,
one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking
quickly, he orders a loaf of
raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up
the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male
customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to
watch the young woman climb up and down the ladder. After many trips,
she is tired, irritated, but thinking she is really going to have to try
the raisin bread herself.
Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for
another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below.
She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up
at her who hasn't yet placed an order. Thinking to save herself another
trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours
raisin, too?"
"No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
PHILLY GIRL
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their housekeeping duties.
The first man had married a woman from Maryland and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from West Virginia and he bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Philadelphia girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didn't see anything and the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye!
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their housekeeping duties.
The first man had married a woman from Maryland and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from West Virginia and he bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Philadelphia girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didn't see anything and the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye!
